1. |
Unhealthy
02:25
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if i found a way to say how i was feeling
would it matter long enough to make it stop?
because the place that i have seemed to find my comfort
is the same place that's been poisoning my thoughts
so i'll gather all the ways that i'm unhealthy
and put them all in places i can see
will that be enough to really make a difference?
or will it drag me deeper into misery?
it's all a climb that i don't have the legs for
cause every day i lose another piece
all for change i'm hesitant to work towards
cause it's not the way i want to be released
if i found a way to feel like i deserved it
to reevaluate the things i do
what would i have to prevent me from drowning?
there'd be nothing left to cling onto
so drain me of my character
cause this is all i have
cause what makes me feel the warmest
are the thoughts that keep me sad
i'll weigh the price of living
with the pain brought by my death
at my baseline i am garbage
i am garbage
i am trash
|
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2. |
It's Gremlins
02:25
|
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i think i try too hard to be unique
like when you ask me my favorite christmas movie
and i've got some hangups about talking to you again
but nothing ever ends, much less will it fade away
i wanna fade away
i don't even get angry anymore i'm just too tired
from starting over
over and over again
you know it's no secret how i sleep all day and ignore my phone
it's just that nothing seems that important
i'm just looking for something more than this
how could i even get started trying to build my life
when i cant even get to work on time
yeah i dont
i dont know
i dont know
i dont know
i dont know
|
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3. |
||||
4. |
The Coward
02:39
|
|||
i feel it changing in my head
day in and day out
i only care about one thing
but i forget what that is
the world is spinning but i cant close my fucking eyes
so tell me how to fix my life
i think i hate going to shows
cause i don't know where to stand
and i'm jealous of the real bands
i'm not real at all
im so fucking up im always looking in the mirror
to see if anything's changed
tell me what to do
not what you want me to say
i'm terrified i'll always be the same
we wasted so much time
we'll never get back again
tell me what to do
not what you want me to say
i'm terrified i'll always be the same
we wasted so much time
we'll never get back again
week after week
month after month
we should admit this shit's a bust
but i'm way too scared
|
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5. |
Letting
02:47
|
|||
i can't sleep
with anything in my bed that's alive
but i've been sleeping with my dog
in case you come to spend the night
yeah i can't sleep
when the bed's been split up into sides
but i still do it when you're gone
in case you come to spend the night
you've got this look and i don't know what it means
a quiet confidence
well i guess i'm doing something right
because i keep seeing you again
you've got this look and i don't know what it means
you keep whispers in your mouth
well i hope I'm doing something right
because we kiss until the lights go out
you've got these looks and i don't know what they mean
quiet time awake
nothing that i ever do feels right
but i'd lie with you until this building breaks
i can't sleep
with anything in my bed that's alive
but i've been sleeping with my dog
in case you come to spend the night
yeah i can't sleep
when the bed's been split up into sides
but i still do it when you're gone
in case you come to spend the night
i just wanna lie and watch your eyes zoom in and out
i wanna watch your lips and tongue
as they move slowly around your mouth
it doesn't have to be anything more
but i can't stop thinking that all you want is more
i never just let anything work out
i never just let anything work out
i can't sleep
i can't sleep
i can't sleep
i can't
|
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6. |
Making
02:37
|
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no wonder I can't sleep
when your smell's still in my sheets
and your makeup is still smudged across my pillowcase
I'm sure I'll make you leave
and I'm sure that you'll let me
even when I make these things works out
I'm still broken
I need your name out of my mouth
but I know I shouldn't
I'm too inconsistent
I'll never be consistent
no wonder I can't eat
when I'm too tired to sleep
and I haven't left my house in days
so why can't I just leave?
is there really that much that stops me?
I still shake my legs
I still pinch my skin
I still think of ways I could save my life
but I don't have the heart to change
i'm too inconsistent
i'll never be consistent
|
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7. |
Stick Around
03:04
|
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underneath all my crumpled dirty sheets
trapped between my thoughts and clothes i'm wearing
digging deep for all the reasons that i hate me
i wish the plans that followed them would scared me
so i'll ignore my phone cause i know what it will say
loving voices asking how i am
so i'll stay home and i think i'll be okay
my fear of outside offers me a hand
cause if i leave
i'll walk through the middle of broad street
hope that my friends would forget me
stand in the station at 15th
hope that my body would let me
and then there's me in all my guilty fantasies
seeing people's faces as they find out
my urgent need to learn all that i could be
remember as instead of what i am now
i should just get something to eat
and maybe smoke some weed
and if i'm lucky adam's in their room
if not i'll just stare at the screen
try to conjure bravery
this selfish act's the last thing that i'll do
and i'm not trying to make things painful
i'm just not trying to exist at all
|
||||
8. |
Full Circle
02:20
|
|||
i don't even know
why i'm so sorry for you
i guess it's all my fault
i know you wanted to talk more
and i guess i shouldn't care
about the time you're wasting
cause i don't have room to talk
as long as you're happy
when i'm not around
and i hope i get there too
and we both find something new
but i'm still lying awake
with this fucked up point of view
as long as you're happy
as long as you're happy
as long as you're happy
as long as you're happy
|
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9. |
Mineral
02:48
|
|||
I keep finding my way back to your living room
often as you're waiting on finding something else to do
i know that there is nothing that i'm owed from you
if anything the other way around
i seem to ruin every talk i have with you
a subtle piece envelopes me and constructs me another truth
we both leave in tears but that's just what we do
it's better than not seeing you at all
and i love your songs
they remind me why i hate myself, sometimes that's just all i want
and all you've done
it's good to know you're really better off
sorry i still end up at your house
you're just where i feel most comfortable whenever i go out
and my implicit selfish tendencies still buckle me to you
maybe it'd be best if i leave now
but i won't
i'll lie on your floor 'til all our friends go home
i don't know
|
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10. |
Everything
03:50
|
|||
maybe i'll try
and accept who i am
cause i can't run from this bullshit all the time
and maybe i'll ask you
is there anything worth changing
you'll look me up and down and tell me
everything
everything needs to change
my head hurts from trying to see what it's like
but if i ruin one more friendship, i'm coming clean tonight
it's just that nothing ever ends
so i'm giving up again
it's one more time where i couldn't quite cut it
but i've been watching the sunrise
every day for almost a month
but it's not because i woke up early
i just never fell asleep
maybe i'll run i'll run away
but i haven't run since high school
and that was just for fun
maybe i'll leave or try and make things better
i don't know yet
i guess i'm not the safe choice after all
and i never fit in anywhere
and i finally think i know why
cause i've never been honest with myself but that's changing now
i wish i didn't feel so ashamed
i wish i wasn't so afraid
cause i'm always in my room
wishing i could be anyone
anyone but me
and maybe i'll try
and accept who i am
cause i couldnt be any different if i tried
and maybe i'll ask you
if there's anything worth changing
you'll look me up and down and you'll say
everything
everything needs to change
|
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11. |
23
01:56
|
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the first time in a while that i feel better
is in this cemetery with my friends, i wish the sun stayed longer
but as we readjust to life near lights and buildings
the glow still lasts
so if i fall asleep tonight i won't be dreaming
i'll be reliving what just happened and holding onto feelings
but when i wake up in the morning nothing's different
the glow still lasts
and as the sunset pierce the treeline
with colors bold and warm
and the gentle giant cloud slowly moves
in the middle of these tombstones
as we bring in my new year
what i always thought impossible came true
i feel happy
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