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It Gets Easier

by Twin Beds

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    we made like 100 of these when we first released "It Gets Easier" and we still got 'em so don't be shy

    front art: Honey Locust
    back art: Jack Einhorn

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1.
Unhealthy 02:25
if i found a way to say how i was feeling would it matter long enough to make it stop? because the place that i have seemed to find my comfort is the same place that's been poisoning my thoughts so i'll gather all the ways that i'm unhealthy and put them all in places i can see will that be enough to really make a difference? or will it drag me deeper into misery? it's all a climb that i don't have the legs for cause every day i lose another piece all for change i'm hesitant to work towards cause it's not the way i want to be released if i found a way to feel like i deserved it to reevaluate the things i do what would i have to prevent me from drowning? there'd be nothing left to cling onto so drain me of my character cause this is all i have cause what makes me feel the warmest are the thoughts that keep me sad i'll weigh the price of living with the pain brought by my death at my baseline i am garbage i am garbage i am trash
2.
i think i try too hard to be unique like when you ask me my favorite christmas movie and i've got some hangups about talking to you again but nothing ever ends, much less will it fade away i wanna fade away i don't even get angry anymore i'm just too tired from starting over over and over again you know it's no secret how i sleep all day and ignore my phone it's just that nothing seems that important i'm just looking for something more than this how could i even get started trying to build my life when i cant even get to work on time yeah i dont i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know
3.
4.
The Coward 02:39
i feel it changing in my head day in and day out i only care about one thing but i forget what that is the world is spinning but i cant close my fucking eyes so tell me how to fix my life i think i hate going to shows cause i don't know where to stand and i'm jealous of the real bands i'm not real at all im so fucking up im always looking in the mirror to see if anything's changed tell me what to do not what you want me to say i'm terrified i'll always be the same we wasted so much time we'll never get back again tell me what to do not what you want me to say i'm terrified i'll always be the same we wasted so much time we'll never get back again week after week month after month we should admit this shit's a bust but i'm way too scared
5.
Letting 02:47
i can't sleep with anything in my bed that's alive but i've been sleeping with my dog in case you come to spend the night yeah i can't sleep when the bed's been split up into sides but i still do it when you're gone in case you come to spend the night you've got this look and i don't know what it means a quiet confidence well i guess i'm doing something right because i keep seeing you again you've got this look and i don't know what it means you keep whispers in your mouth well i hope I'm doing something right because we kiss until the lights go out you've got these looks and i don't know what they mean quiet time awake nothing that i ever do feels right but i'd lie with you until this building breaks i can't sleep with anything in my bed that's alive but i've been sleeping with my dog in case you come to spend the night yeah i can't sleep when the bed's been split up into sides but i still do it when you're gone in case you come to spend the night i just wanna lie and watch your eyes zoom in and out i wanna watch your lips and tongue as they move slowly around your mouth it doesn't have to be anything more but i can't stop thinking that all you want is more i never just let anything work out i never just let anything work out i can't sleep i can't sleep i can't sleep i can't
6.
Making 02:37
no wonder I can't sleep when your smell's still in my sheets and your makeup is still smudged across my pillowcase I'm sure I'll make you leave and I'm sure that you'll let me even when I make these things works out I'm still broken I need your name out of my mouth but I know I shouldn't I'm too inconsistent I'll never be consistent no wonder I can't eat when I'm too tired to sleep and I haven't left my house in days so why can't I just leave? is there really that much that stops me? I still shake my legs I still pinch my skin I still think of ways I could save my life but I don't have the heart to change i'm too inconsistent i'll never be consistent
7.
Stick Around 03:04
underneath all my crumpled dirty sheets trapped between my thoughts and clothes i'm wearing digging deep for all the reasons that i hate me i wish the plans that followed them would scared me so i'll ignore my phone cause i know what it will say loving voices asking how i am so i'll stay home and i think i'll be okay my fear of outside offers me a hand cause if i leave i'll walk through the middle of broad street hope that my friends would forget me stand in the station at 15th hope that my body would let me and then there's me in all my guilty fantasies seeing people's faces as they find out my urgent need to learn all that i could be remember as instead of what i am now i should just get something to eat and maybe smoke some weed and if i'm lucky adam's in their room if not i'll just stare at the screen try to conjure bravery this selfish act's the last thing that i'll do and i'm not trying to make things painful i'm just not trying to exist at all
8.
Full Circle 02:20
i don't even know why i'm so sorry for you i guess it's all my fault i know you wanted to talk more and i guess i shouldn't care about the time you're wasting cause i don't have room to talk as long as you're happy when i'm not around and i hope i get there too and we both find something new but i'm still lying awake with this fucked up point of view as long as you're happy as long as you're happy as long as you're happy as long as you're happy
9.
Mineral 02:48
I keep finding my way back to your living room often as you're waiting on finding something else to do i know that there is nothing that i'm owed from you if anything the other way around i seem to ruin every talk i have with you a subtle piece envelopes me and constructs me another truth we both leave in tears but that's just what we do it's better than not seeing you at all and i love your songs they remind me why i hate myself, sometimes that's just all i want and all you've done it's good to know you're really better off sorry i still end up at your house you're just where i feel most comfortable whenever i go out and my implicit selfish tendencies still buckle me to you maybe it'd be best if i leave now but i won't i'll lie on your floor 'til all our friends go home i don't know
10.
Everything 03:50
maybe i'll try and accept who i am cause i can't run from this bullshit all the time and maybe i'll ask you is there anything worth changing you'll look me up and down and tell me everything everything needs to change my head hurts from trying to see what it's like but if i ruin one more friendship, i'm coming clean tonight it's just that nothing ever ends so i'm giving up again it's one more time where i couldn't quite cut it but i've been watching the sunrise every day for almost a month but it's not because i woke up early i just never fell asleep maybe i'll run i'll run away but i haven't run since high school and that was just for fun maybe i'll leave or try and make things better i don't know yet i guess i'm not the safe choice after all and i never fit in anywhere and i finally think i know why cause i've never been honest with myself but that's changing now i wish i didn't feel so ashamed i wish i wasn't so afraid cause i'm always in my room wishing i could be anyone anyone but me and maybe i'll try and accept who i am cause i couldnt be any different if i tried and maybe i'll ask you if there's anything worth changing you'll look me up and down and you'll say everything everything needs to change
11.
23 01:56
the first time in a while that i feel better is in this cemetery with my friends, i wish the sun stayed longer but as we readjust to life near lights and buildings the glow still lasts so if i fall asleep tonight i won't be dreaming i'll be reliving what just happened and holding onto feelings but when i wake up in the morning nothing's different the glow still lasts and as the sunset pierce the treeline with colors bold and warm and the gentle giant cloud slowly moves in the middle of these tombstones as we bring in my new year what i always thought impossible came true i feel happy

credits

released April 20, 2018

gnar-guitar - John
bass goofs - Jack
lil drummies - Zach

Produced, engineered, and mixed by Gary Cioni
Mastered by Brett Romnes

Recorded at The Barbershop Studios in Hopatcong, NJ

Art by Honey Locust

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Twin Beds Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

john, jack, & zach

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